No title

A lot has happened to me when it comes to love...and i really try not to believe in it bc im always the one that gets hurt..but i cant blame nobody but myself. i put myself in those types of situations. I wondered would there ever be someone out there for me? and i have come to the conclusion that there is and that i just have to wait...i have inner relationship problems that i must work on!! one day i will find that special someone to make me feel whole again{{i just wished it was him}} but you never know it may be and it may not be!! but i figure as long as i can keep myself happy then i will be fine...i must love myself b4 i can love again!! I have the biggest fear of being alone and it took me a long time to realize that. i may act like that doesnt phase me, but i am willing to go through good and bad just so i wont have to feel alone. i could tell ppl that being by myself isnt all that bad, but it indeed sucks. i guess i wanted to hold on to something that i could no longer hold on to. i cant make anyone love me or like me. its up to them if they really wanna be with me. My heart cannot take it anymore. i rreally did try to find happiness in making someone else happy and i would put them before myself, but that wasnt right...i must put myself first no matter what the cost it. i am promising myself that i must be mature and understand that all i have is myself..and my happiness. because at the end of the day, as long as i wake up and God is pleased then thats all that matters. so for this love stuff imma put it in his hands and let him guide me and my situation. because this nothing to be depressed about its just an learning experience. and i am a firm believer in; everything happens for a reason and if its meant to be then it will come back around no question.